Zim Goes to Driver's ED
by Invader Aqua
Summary: To appear normal to his classmates, Zim enrolls in a driver's ED course. For anyone who's ever had to take a driver's ED course. I'm sure you can relate
1. Handouts of DOOM!

Zim Goes to Driver's ED

**Author's Notes**: This is a fic that anyone between the ages of fifteen and seventeen can appreciate; THE TRIALS OF DRIVER'S EDUCATION! For those of you who don't know, I am currently taking a driver's ED class, and all the stupid incidents that took place in this story are based on true events that I either witnessed or heard about. I'm just venting some of my horrific experiences.

**Disclaimer**: I had a dream that I owned Invader Zim… but it was just a dream.

If you don't like my driving, then stay off the sidewalk!

Chapter 1: Handouts of DOOM!

"Okay, okay, students, quiet down," Mr. Peppy, the sophomore English teacher called to the class. "I know you're all excited that today is the last day of Skool and this is your final hour before summer break and you just got done with your finals, but I want you to stop the chitchat for just a second longer."

The class temporarily ceased their mindless babbling to see what could possibly be so important to interrupt their summer planning.

Mr. Peppy warily eyed the clock as he began to pass out forms down each row of the class. "Okay, I know I've only got a few more minutes to explain, so I'll make it quick. This is your driver's ED forms."

The class gasped and whispers soon filled the room. Zim, the out of place green kid who was actually an alien Invader, whipped around nervously in his chair to find out more from his classmates on the topic of Driver's ED.

"Yes, yes," the English teacher continued. "I know you're all excited. This is a summer course, and if you're not taking summer school, then you only need to be there in the morning. Now, there will be a fee, and you can only miss so many hours before the course is not credited and you just waste your money. If you pass, however, it will help to lower your parent's insurance, _and…_ you'll be one step closer to your driver's license."

The class hooted and hollered in their excitement.

"Okay, the information on where the courses will be held is printed on the back of the paper. Be sure to let your parents know th-"

The final bell of the school year rang, and Mr. Peppy was soon forgotten as the teens rushed out into the hallway, shouting obstinacies at the top of their lungs. Zim was one of the last few to exit the class. He examined the paper one last time before he crumpled it up into a little ball.

"I take it that means you _won't_ be taking driver's ED?"

Zim hissed as he recognized the voice and whirled around to face his sworn enemy, Dib. "What's it to you, _human_?"

"Oh, I was just wondering. Ya see, driving is a _human_ activity; you _aliens_ wouldn't understand," Dib said smugly.

Zim turned away from the human and began to leave, only to find that he was being followed, as usual. He would have to look into human restraining orders. "I have no need for driving, Dib. It's a slow and rather useless mode of transportation. You can't even leave the planet in your little 'sars'."

"It's 'cars', and no, they're not slow. They're an advanced mode of transportation."

Zim scoffed.

Dib raised a brow. "Fine, Zim, don't take Driver's ED, but I'm warning you, it's kind of… unnatural for a teen _not_ to want to get their license."

Zim turned to face the human, "You _LIE_!"

Dib dismissed the accusation and turned around. Cupping his hands around his mouth, he shouted, "HEY, EVRYONE! _ZIM_ DOESN'T WANT HIS DRIVER'S LICENSE!"

The conversation in the halls came to a screeching halt. Zim flinched as he saw all the kids turning to face him with questioning glances or looks of sheer disgust.

"Sheesh, what a freak."

"Yeah, tell me about it."

"He really doesn't want his license?"

"I guess."

"But that's, like, _inhuman_."

"LIES!" Zim shouted, raising his fists to silence the crowd. "The Dib speaks lies. Of course I want my license, like any other normal Earth-larva, and I will attend this class in order to obtain such a permit."

Satisfied, the students continued on their way out of their prison and out into the humid, barren wasteland that was summer.

"Heh, see ya next Monday at Driver's ED, Zim," Dib sneered as he walked past the alien.

"Oh, I _will_ be there, human, and Zim shall be the best driver _this_ planet has ever witnessed!" Zim shouted to the boy's back. Dib merely waved him off. Once the human was out of sight, Zim slumped up against a locker and spared a minute to wonder what exactly he had just gotten himself into.

**Author's Notes**: Yup, that there the first chapter. I'll give you more, filled with all the painful wrecks of Driver's ED-good-ness. (I wonder if that's a real word) If you like it, review and tell me how I'm doin'. I'm sure you all can relate. Oh, and I don't plan on making this a romance, JSYK, but if you insist, I'll see what I can do… R&R!


	2. Day 1

Zim Goes to Driver's ED

**Author's Notes**: Yes, time for another installment from my sick twisted mind. JSYAK, I did pass my Driver's ED class, and I will soon be joining some of you on the road (A scary thought, I know). So, be prepared mortals for the stupidity of A STUPID, INCOMPETENT ALIEN LEARNING TO OPERATE A DANGEROUS VEHICLE! And now the quote of the week…

"That's actually a good idea, if you actually think that's a good idea…"

-Abby

Chapter 2: Day 1

Early on Monday morning, a white van came screeching up to the Driver's Education facility. Many of the students who were already there and waiting to be let inside, turned their heads to watch as the vehicle made an impossibly tight turn at high speeds. The van came to a screeching halt at the front door of the school.

"Aha!" cheered Professor Membrane, the driver of the vehicle. "You said that we couldn't get here in less than five minutes, but I, **_PROFESSOR_ _MEMBRANE_**, was able to show you that it was possible!"

Dib, still clinging to the passengers seat for good measure, responded shakily, "I knew that it was _possible_, **_Dad_**, but I what I meant was that it was unlikely we would get there on time if you actually obeyed traffic laws!"

Membrane chuckled. "Traffic laws," he said with a wave of dismissal. "When you're as experienced as me, you don't need to obey 'traffic laws'. Now, go learn the rules of the road!"

"Yes, Dad," Dib mumbled, stepping out of the van. Gaz joined him, after hopping out of the backseat. She was fifteen and her father believed it was time she furthered her driving education. She stood by her brother.

Membrane cranked the wheel of the van and pressed the accelerator, sending the van into a turning skid. He stopped the skid after doing a one-eighty. "Haha, you kids. Good luck, and… Gaz, make sure your brother doesn't do anything embarrassing." With that, he sped off.

"WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!" Dib demanded, but his father was already out of hearing range. "What's that supposed to mean?" he asked his sister, who had already tuned him out with her Gameslave 3. Dib sighed and looked up just in time to watch Zim narrowly escape getting run over by Membrane's van. "_ZIM_!"

The alien looked up from his position in the grass. "DIB-MONKEY!"

The two marched over to face each other. "What're you doing here, _Zim_?" Dib demanded.

Zim raised a brow. "Don't you remember? You challenged me? Saying it was inhuman for a normal worm-baby not to want to operate your inferior Earth automobile?"

Dib considered it. "Oh… yeah… You're right… But there's no way you're gonna pass, _Zim_."

"Oh, don't worry, _Dib_, I will pass, and when I pass this little 'Driver's test', I will be so amazing that-"

"Hey! Class is about to begin! Are either of you two freaks coming?" Mary asked.

Zim and Dib continued to glare at each other before coming to an unspoken truce, and the two entered the building. It was set up like a school, but on a much smaller scale, with three classrooms at best: one to the right, one to the left, and one at the end of the hallway. Zim and Dib both entered the room on the left. It was set up with twelve chairs on either side of the class room set in three columns of four. Both boys sat on the left side of the room on opposite sides of the room, as if they were in Skool. The other students filed in, trying to avoid sitting by the two boys. The students who were late had the misfortune of sitting by either Dib or Zim.

There was no bell to mark when the class started, just five old men who announced that it was time to begin. The youngest of the group was the first to speak. "Hello, classes," he greeted.

No response.

"Welcome to your first day of Driver's ED. I'm sure you all realize that this course will last for four weeks, and if you miss eight hours, or two days, then this course does not count."

Gasps and grumbling was heard.

"Now, my name is Mr. James," the young man finally introduced. "I will be your instructor on The Range. We will get to what that means later. To my left is Mr. Smith," he indicated to a small, graying man, "And to my far left is Mr. Dotson," he motioned to an older, white-haired man. "To my right is Mr. Samson," he continued, waving to a portly, red-headed man. "And finally, there's Mr. Gomery," he said, pointing to a bent old man. "They will be there to help you on the range, and in later weeks, they will be your instructors on the road. For now, you all will be driving on The Range, which is…"

Mr. James pulled down a map that showed the western parking lot, which had lines drawn on it to indicate small roadways, buildings, little driving exercises, and parallel parking. "Later, you will all be expected to drive on the range, and do the exercises. For now, all you will be doing is getting to know your vehicle. Okay, to my right," he indicated to the right side of the room. "You all will be driving on the range first, everyday."

Hoots and hollers were heard.

"I'll call out your number, and you will go to the front of the class and select your keys with the appropriate number. Next, you will get the magnets from the back of the room, go out, and place the numbers on both sides of your car. You will know what car you have by the number painted on the windshield in the upper part of the passenger's side. Then, you will get in, buckle up, adjust your mirrors and seats, start your car and roll down your windows. I will be watching you from the control tower, so in order to hear me over the intercom, you will need to have your windows down at _all_ times.

"Now I want to remind you all that there is no speeding on the range. You will go no faster than 5 miles per hour."

The class moaned.

"Oh, and you are also not allowed to have your radio or air-conditioning on at any time on The Range… Now that that's said, I'll give you your numbers, oh, and since hardly anyone's here today, I'm going to wait until tomorrow to give you all your seating charts. If I go through everyone on this side," Mr. James indicated to the right, "and there are still some numbers left over, then there will be some people on the left driving. If I go through all the numbers and I start handing out numbers that have already been said, then that means you will have a passenger. You will have a passenger almost everyday until you start driving on the open road. Now, here we go. One: Melvin, two: Willy, three: Gretchen, four: Tae, five: Penny, six: Poonchy, seven: Keef, eight: Smolga, nine: Mary… Well, it would seem we've run out of people on this side of the room, so…" he moved over to the left side of the room. "Ten: Zim, eleven: The Letter M, twelve: Sara… and now the passengers one: Zita, two: Aki, three: Brian, four: Rob, five: Alex, six: Samichy, seven: Carl, eight: Smeedge, and nine: Dib. Go get your keys and head out to The Range."

The students slowly exited the class, gathering their magnets as they went, through a back door that led straight to the western parking lot. They found a variety of compact cars and two SUVs all lined up far away from each other, with the back bumpers touching a large traffic cone. Dib hopped into the passenger's side as Mary placed the magnets to the sides of the car. He watched and laughed as Zim equipped the magnets and also got in on the passenger's side. It took the Irken a minute, but he finally scooted over behind the steering wheel.

Zim examined the control panel of the vehicle and was frustrated to find that it wasn't touch activated like his Voot Cruiser. After a few minutes of pounding on the dashboard with little luck, he finally opened the car door and raised his hand.

"Send assistance to car ten," boomed the speakers set up around The Range.

Mr. Smith hobbled over. "Whaddya need?" he asked.

"How does one activate this vessel?" Zim inquired.

"Alright," Mr. Smith began, taking the keys from Zim. '_Gosh, we get one every year that's never even touched the wheel._' "Okay, ya take yer key and ya put it in the ignition and ya turn it like so," he instructed through example. The car started, causing Zim to squeak and shift uncomfortably in his seat.

Zim regained his composure as the teacher quickly showed him how to roll down the windows and adjust his mirrors. "Right, right," Zim mumbled. "Whatever, I got it."

Mr. Smith nodded and walked away.

Mr. James' voice came back on over the intercoms. "Alright, I can see now that it looks like all of you have managed to get your engines started, so we're gonna start by doing some simple driving exercises. First, place your right foot on the brake pedal and shift the car into drive, but be sure to keep your foot on the brake until I tell you otherwise."

Dib watched with a bored expression as Mary shifted the car and nervously gripped the wheel. He then looked beyond her at the sound of an engine revving loudly.

"Car number ten. Car number ten, that's your accelerator; we need you to press the brake pedal," the intercom instructed.

Dib laughed. "He's clueless."

The revving noises stopped. Dib looked over and saw Mr. Smith leaning into Zim's open window and was busy explaining the controls to him. After a moment, the teacher left and Zim's car began to inch forward.

"Car ten, I did not give you instructions yet. Place your foot back on the breaks."

Dib watched as the red compact car that Zim was driving, come to a quick halt.

"Okay, now I want all of you to drive forward, **_slowly_**, and touch the front bumper of your cars to the traffic cone in front of you," Mr. James instructed. "All cars may go."

All the cars began to move forward, some far slower than others, and went half of the parking lot's length to touch the front of their bumper to the cone in front of them.

"Car ten!" the intercom yelled.

Dib looked around. "What's he doin' now?"

"Car ten, you should not be steering so much. Try to keep your vehicle straight! Car ten! STOP CAR TEN!"

Zim came to a halt, already ten feet to the left from his designated cone. All others had already cautiously made their way up to it and carefully bumped it before coming to a halt.

"Now, I want all of you, keeping your foot on the brakes to shift into reverse and to slowly back up until you touch your back bumper to the cone you started from. Remember to tap your horn whenever you are going to back up on The Range, just in case someone is out of their car picking up a traffic cone. I want all of you to tap your horns. Car ten, I want you to try to even your car up and get close to where you started. Don't forget to look over your fight shoulder, while keeping your left hand on the steering wheel when you reverse… All cars may go."

There was a series of honking noises as students slowly began to back up, some still slower than others.

"Car ten. Car ten, you going the other way. Turn your steering wheel the other way. Car ten? Car ten, stop the car immediately."

Dib heard the sound of a vehicle revving loudly and watched as car ten sped past right in front of him in reverse. Zim ended up driving his vehicle straight into one of the metal poles that made up the miniature intersection and would soon support a traffic light.

"Stupid, inferior, stink-meat technology," Zim cursed, pounding on the steering wheel, just in time for the airbag to deploy.

(End Chapter)

**Author's Notes**: Is it just me, or is that a fairly long chapter? Seriously, though, on my first day (I wasn't there to see it but) someone really did drive their car into the traffic signal's pole. I have no idea how, because all we were doing was forward and reverse, so that's pretty sad. Don't worry; this isn't the end of the Driver's ED goodness. Trust me when I say that there is more stupidity to come (And most of which are based on real life experiences) XD. Now to thank those of you who reviewed…

The Sole Survivor: Yes, I figure that Zim is so used to his advanced technology, that opperating our puny, human machinery will be a challenge for him. Plus, keep in mind that this story is based on REAL events that **_I_** witnessed.

Rowena L.: Ah, yes. And this is only the BEGINNING of the doom that awaits, and keep in mind that this story is based on REAL events that **_I_** witnessed.

I'm too lazy to log in: Sorry if you feel that I stole your idea. I'm mostly writing this to vent all the horrible things that happened during my real Driver's ED course. Oh, and by all means please post your story, if you want. I won't be offended. I'll probably end up reading it.

shany94a: I'm glad you think it's so well written, but I wouldn't count on GIR making too many appearances. Zim's trying to prove his normality, and I don't think that allowing his little, green doggy drive would help that much, but I'll try to give him a few appearances.

Wack'd: Lurv your name. 'Kay, no romance. I'm glad you think so highly of this fic.

Maharentina: GASP! ZIMMY!Okay. Okay. Here's your update, just don't hurt him... (POKE) LURB!


	3. Day 2

Zim Goes to Driver's ED

**Author's Notes**: Greetings, once again, puny humans. Your reviews… they please me so. (Wipes a tear away) They make me feel so important… Now, some of you commented that this fic scared you away from Driver's ED, but that was not my intention when I began writing this fic. The point of Driver's ED is to familiarize you with your vehicle, and you also pick up on what types of drivers you're going to be dealing with out on the road. It really is a shame that stupidity isn't a crime… I'm going to petition that we send all the idiots to the moon, so the stupidity radiating off of it will pull at Earth's tides. Now, for me to begin the doom….

"Zim is a sexy beast that should be worshiped for all eternity. Now, filthy humans, get down on your hands and knees and praise the one, the only, the almighty ZIM!"

-My freakishly obsessed cousin

Chapter 3: Day 2

Dib listened to the sound of his father's van take off away from the building. The sound was soon followed by the commotion of a large number of cars being run off the road, but neither of the Membrane kids seemed to care. It was still a bit early, and the teachers refused to open the doors until it was seven thirty on the dot, so all of the students we waiting outside, enjoying the early morning chill. Dib pulled his trench coat tighter around himself and made a small squeal of delight that earned him a sharp jab in the shoulder from Torque. Rubbing his upper arm, Dib's eyes landed on Zim, sitting by the curb.

The alien still had a few bruises on his face from the airbag. After the crash, Mr. Samson had advised Zim to get some medical attention, despite the low-speed collision. Zim had then insisted that he was fine and had no need to visit a "filthy Earth physician". Instead, he called his "parents" to come pick him up. Dib was amused when Zim's little robot dog showed up to take him home. By then Dib and the rest of the students had to go inside, so he didn't get a chance to laugh at how badly disguised Zim's ship was.

"So, Zim, come back for another pummeling?" Dib asked smugly.

The alien invader's head snapped up to look at him. "Nonsense! Yesterday was just a warm up, but today, I, the almighty ZIIIIM, shall make mockery of your puny driver skills!"

"Fat chance, alien! You'll just end up crashing again!"

"Silence! Zim shall not crash another auto-car! So there," Zim said, displaying his maturity by sticking his tongue out at the human.

"Oh, yeah? Well, we'll just see about that, won't we?"

"Hey!"

Zim and Dib whipped around to find that most of the children had already gone in the building. Only Zita and Tae remained, and they appeared to be waiting on them.

"Sheesh," Zita said to Tae. "They always stay out later than everyone else. Why do they like to talk to each other so much?"

Tae shrugged, "I donno. Maybe they're gay."

Zita smiled and nodded as she allowed the odd pair to enter. Zim and Dib continued to glare at each other as they took their seats in the classroom. All the teachers then entered the class.

Mr. James surveyed the class. "Well, enjoy your last day of selecting your own seats, because tomorrow, you're all going to get a seating chart."

The class moaned.

Mr. James continued. "Everyone but Zim, please go select the keys for the same car you had yesterday. Don't forget your magnets an-"

"WAIT!"

"Yes, Zim?"

"Why am I not permitted to drive; _tell me now_," Zim demanded.

"Due to your incident yesterday, we felt it was necessary to give you one more days rest from driving. You can drive tomorrow, Zim, but for now, please report to Mr. Reigncourt's class."

"Reigncourt?" Zim inquired, raising a brow.

"Yes, since you left early yesterday, you didn't get to meet him. You need to go to his class, which is just down the hall, and get your written assignment," Mr. James explained.

"Written assignment? What purpose does such a thing have as far as teaching one to drive?"

"It teaches you how to operate the car."

"Nonsense! Zim already knows how to drive!" the alien boasted.

"Oh, yeah, and you really proved that yesterday," Dib commented sarcastically, just loud enough so Zim and half the class could hear. Laughter soon erupted.

"SILENCE!" Zim shrieked. "I will do my bookwork, and it will put all of your puny human assignments to shame!" Zim then stood up and left the classroom.

"What an idiot," Dib commented as he got up and followed Mary as she picked up the magnets for the car.

"Yeah," Mary nodded. "He sure is."

"He's an alien, too."

She glared at Dib. "You're crazy."

(Page Break)

After being out on The Range for two hours, Dib was a little relieved to go back into the building and out of the summer's heat. '_Being confined in a car without air-conditioning should be against the law_,' Dib thought. Not only was being on The Range hot, but it was also boring. Today, they practiced making left turns while maintaining a two-car space cushion between them and the car in front of them. It was basically a boring game of follow the leader, with Mr. Gomery in the lead car. It was nice to just lay face-down on the cool desk.

"Alright, switch!" Mr. James announced as he opened the door to the hallway. Dib, along with the others, filed out and crossed over to the classroom across the hall. It was the simulator room, which had within it: one projector positioned at the back of the classroom, roughly twenty simulators all facing the front of the room, and a giant screen at the very front of the class. Twelve chairs were positioned between the simulators and the screen. All the chairs faced a chalkboard positioned against the left wall of the classroom. Zim sat in the front row.

"ZIM!"

"DIB-BEAST!"

"SHUT UP!" Zita yelled, and then to Torque said, "They're crazy."

Zim and Dib maintained glaring at each other until the human had no choice to sit down. Luckily, Samichy sat between them. The teacher, a rather portly man, named Mr. Furgus came in, stood by the chalkboard, and underlined his name.

The teacher cleared his throat. "My name is Mr. Furgus, as I said before, and like I said yesterday, this is probably going to be the most boring class you will have. I know that I told you that we would be getting the simulators fixed, but unfortunately, that will not be happening this summer. So for today, you will all get to sit at your simulators and pretend to drive. And I will not tolerate sleeping or talking. Please take your seats; you won't be assigned to one."

The students stood up and began filling up the simulators that were closest to the front of the class, and furthest from the teacher. Dib took the simulator directly behind Zim so he could keep an eye on the alien's activities. The lights went out, and the projector was turned on.

An ancient film from the seventies began to play. "Hello," the narrator began. "And welcome to the American Driving Directional video."

"Also know as the ADD video," Dib mumbled under his breath.

"Today, we will be taking you through different driving scenarios, helping you to use the IPDE process. First, lets go over the principals of IPDE, which stands for Identify, Predict, Decide, and Execute."

Dib sighed and leaned back in his simulator's chair; at least that was comfortable. He listened vaguely to the video as it droned on and on about how to predict what to do in a driving situation.

"Now, let's begin the simulation," the narrator announced. The screen switched over to behind the wheel of a seventies car. "Go through your pre-driving check list… Now, start the car. Don't forget to release the parking brake."

Zim searched his simulator frantically before thrusting his hand up in the air.

Dib rolled his eyes. "Zim, it's the petal on your far left."

The Irken dropped his hand. "Yes, yes! Of course it is! I was just testing you!"

Dib rolled his eyes.

"Yes! I was testing to see if you knew where the parking break was, and…. uh… you pass! Filthy Human!"

"Zim! Shut up, you're loud and annoying!" Zita yelled.

Grudgingly, Zim shuffled back down into his seat and took the wheel.

**_THUNK_**

Zim shrunk down in his seat as all eyes turned to face him. He cursed at the parking brake in his native tongue.

"Freak."

The alien ignored the comment as he randomly turned the steering wheel, trying to act normal.

(Page Break)

Dib closed the textbook with a sigh. They were now in Mr. Reigncourt's room, reading another chapter in their driver's manuals. There were very few things in the world more boring than that. The chapter was all about alcohol and medications and how they affect your ability to drive.

Zim's hand shot up in the air.

"Yes, Zim?" Mr. Reigncourt called.

"Your class… it's BORING!"

"Yes."

"Does it have to be?"

"… Yes."

Zim face planted into his desk with a sigh.

"Now, class, we're going to watch a video called "The Right Way". I know you'll all like it, 'cause it was the same video that I watched back when I took Driver's ED," Mr. Reigncourt informed as he set up the projector.

The class moaned as a very fifties theme song began to play, while showing images of traffic signs and old cars. The teacher turned off most of the lights, but not all of them, like the class pleaded him to.

"Are you guys nuts?" Mr. Reigncourt asked. "I know better than to leave a bunch of adolescents alone in the dark."

"I guess that rules out me sleeping," Dib mumbled as he watched the video.

The movie was a very poor version of "Saturday Night Live", with little skits preformed, that had something to do with driving (they also involved very pathetic attempts at comedy) and were then followed by an informational segment on how the skit relates to you. Today, it was about the different types of drivers you will encounter on the road.

"First," the video informed, "is the 'Mad Dog' driver. This type of driver is noisy, impatient, quick to use his horn, and does not always use common on-the-road courtesy."

"That is ZIM! Zim is the 'Mad Frog' driver!" the alien informed the class. "Who can stand waiting on you pathetic humans! Make way for the superior ZIM!"

"ZIM! Please get off of your desk and watch the movie," Mr. Reigncourt asked.

The little alien sulked and hopped off of the desk.

"Moron," Dib mumbled to himself.

(Page Break)

It was now the one and only break that they had for the day; afterwards, all the students would be expected to return to their class for the remaining hour before being dismissed to their parents. They were also allowed to have candy and soda, as long as they remembered to throw their trash away. Dib, soda in hand, walked outside to get some fresh air. Other students were already out there, mingling, but there was no sign of Zim.

Dib took a sip of his soda and was surprised when it was pushed up into his face and got splashed all over him. He whipped around and found Zim looming over him smugly.

"VICTORY!"

"What victory? All you did was make me sticky," Dib sulked, as he examined his pop-covered shirt and jacket.

Zim smirked, and grabbed Dib by his temporarily exposed undergarments and pulled it up as far as it would go. Dib whined in agony at the pain he was in.

"Wedgie… hurt… so… bad…"

Zim dropped the garment and ran. As soon as he was well enough, Dib followed. The two ran around the perimeter of the building. After a minute, Zim looked over his shoulder and found that Dib had stopped chasing him.

The alien threw his arms up into the air, "VICTORY FOR ZI-" and was promptly struck by a car.

Dib stood at the curb, watching as Zim was hit. "Running our in the middle of the street and just standing there… That's just dumb."

(End Chapter)

**Author's Notes**: Yay, it's over. Oy, I had some horrible writer's block on this chapter. Please excuse me if you happen to find this chapter as insanely boring as I do. I think I'm just gonna skip a week in the story and get straight to the good part. JSYK, all this information is true. You WILL have to learn about IPDE and that other crap, so this story is (dun Dun DUN!) semi-educational. See ya all in two weeks! Now, for the extremely short list of thank yous…

Dying Rose on The Vine: I like your name. Don't worry, your secrets are safe with me, but really, who thinks that? I'll never understand humans. I'm glad that you can relate to this story. Don't worry, the next update will be funnier.

wallflower-chan: Oooh, sorry. It wasn't my intent to scare you away from Driver's ED. I actually recommend going. It wasn't THAT bad, and all you have to do to pass is show up, LITERALLY! And I think you'd like it. Don't lose hope!

Still too Lazy: I'm glad that you liked the last chapter, 'cause that's pretty much what Driver's ED is like. Oy, stupid humans. Oh, and I REALLY want to read your story. Give me the name of it when ya ever get around ta writing it.

Abby: Lub ya lots! Thankies for reading it. Driver's Ed HELL!


	4. Week 2 Day 2

Zim Goes to Driver's ED

**Author's Notes**: Eh-heh… ; Sorry, everyone, for the extremely long time it took for me to update. Things've been a little hectic with school getting started an' all, so it's really hard to manage two fics at once. So, ZGDE has been taking a backseat to my other fic, Unlikely Hero. Now, I won't hesitate any longer…

Give the peoples what dey want.

Chapter 4: Week 2 Day 2

Dib scowled as he handed in his permission slip to Mr. James. Zim was now fully recovered from his injury, and today was his first day back on the road. He glared as he watched Zim hand his slip to the teacher as well. A brief glance showed a very loopy signature that simply read 'Zim's parents' down where the parents were supposed to sign. Dib retook his seat and watched as the alien took his own. Mr. James quickly thumbed through the forms to make sure that everyone had turned one in.

"Very good. It looks as if everyone turned theirs in. Now, Mr. Dotson, Mr. Samson, Mr. Smith, and Mr. Gomery will each call four of you and take you out to a vehicle. From now on, all of you will be driving out on the road during this time in the day. Mr. Dotson, you go first," said Mr. James.

Mr. Dotson nodded and pulled a clipboard out from behind his back. "Okay, I'm gonna need Carl, Dib, Zim, and Zita."

The four students gasped and looked at each other in horror.

"Dude, no way," Carl said, shaking his head at his co. drivers.

"Ew, I don't want them!" Zita yelled.

"WAIT! We can't have Zim. He's crazy!" Dib pleaded.

"Don't put me in a car with _them_! They reek of _hu-man_!" Zim protested.

"Outside," Mr. Dotson said as he pointed to the door in the back of the room. The four students hung their heads and marched outside, trying not to make eye-contact with each other. The teacher stood, waiting by a small, white car. "This will be our vehicle. Dib, you'll be driving first. Zim, Carl, and Zita, get in the back of the car, but let Zim sit to the far right so he can get out when it's his turn."

They nodded and grudgingly took their seats. Mr. Dotson got in on the passenger's side. "Now, Dib, if anything goes wrong, I have my own break pedal on my side, so just let me take the wheel if I grab for it."

Dib merely nodded as he started the car and pulled out into the suburban streets.

"Take a left up here, Dib… Watch your speed… Now, turn right at this corner. NOT SO FAST… Never mind; you're good… Are you watching your speed?... Don't forget to check your mirrors… Good job… Okay, pull over here, and we'll let Zim drive us back to the school."

Dib swallowed thickly as he pulled over and got out of the car. As he passed Zim, who was on his way to the driver's seat, he said, "Don't do anything that would get us killed, Zim!"

The Irken snarled, "Stupid human, it is you who will get us killed!"

"But, I'm not doing anything… My part is over."

"… STILL!"

Dib rolled his eyes and took his seat in back. Zita scooted over closer to Carl so she wouldn't have to get any Dib-germs on her. Zim examined the controls, and somehow managed to put the vehicle in drive. He then proceeded to straddle the no-passing, yellow lines.

"Okay, try to stay in your lane, Zim," Mr. Dotson instructed and was nearly thrown from his seat as the car jerked to the right and almost fell into a ditch. The teacher righted himself and glared at the green boy. "Okay, don't correct yourself that fast, and don't ignore traffic signs. We just flew through an intersection without stopping at the sigh.

Zim grumbled something about 'stupid human signals'.

"Okay, turn left at this next intersection," Mr. Dotson instructed as he pointed ahead to a stop sign. As they came closer, he reminded Zim, "Oh, and don't forget to use your turn signals."

Zim floored it around the corner and somehow managed to turn on his windshield wipers. The turn was also far too sharp and the car went straight into the gutter and hit the storm drain. Everyone temporarily flew out of their seats and Zita let out a high-pitched shriek of terror. Mr. Dotson used his brake to bring the car to a stop. He instructed the kids to stay in the car while he examined the damage.

Once the teacher was out of the car, Dib sneered, "Jeez, Zim, is that your idea of not getting us killed?"

"Puny human, I have done well in your delicate art of driving. You just don't realize it yet."

Dib glared at Zim as Mr. Dotson returned to the car. "We've got a flat. I'm callin' a truck to come pick us up. By the way, Dib, you got seventeen points."

"And me! What about me! What points did Zim get?" the disguised Irken inquire, just about jumping into the teacher's lap.

Mr. Dotson glared at Zim's enthusiasm and replied, "Ten."

Zim threw his arms up in the air, hitting the roof of the car, "VICTORY!" He then turned to face his rival. "HA!"

"Whaddya mean? You wrecked the car, how is that good?" Dib asked.

"It's good because my ten beats your seventeen."

"Zim, that's how many points you got out of twenty. I got seventeen and you got ten," Dib explained.

"And your point is?"

Dib rolled his eyes and placed his face in his hands.

(End Chapter)

**Author's Notes**: Yeah, that was pretty much what happened to me. Except my driver didn't hit the storm-drain, but someone else did. Oh, and BTW, I actually obtained MY driver's license. PRAISE ME! I promise my next update will be sooner. Now, for my short list of thankyous…

wintersday: Woo, thanks for your support. It's people like you who I continue writing for.

ShikyoNoKrys: Yes, I will most definately read your story. And I'm deeply sorry for such a late update. I had a severe case of writer's block monkeys and they wouldn't leave me alone. But thank you for your support.

Abby: Of course it is, my friend. You and I went through this together, don't ya know. You'll love the second to the last chapter. I'm sure it will please you to see someone else suffer.

hono'o neko: Don't worry, GIR did in fact take Zim home, where his shattered limbs were properly treated. The only reason the driver's ED class will still count is because he's been showing up every day, reguardless of injuries. Thanks for reading.


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